Beauty or Brains?

Sarasvati

Many women seem convinced that men do not value intelligence in a woman.

This is obviously wrong. Whether they themselves understand it or not, men are instinctively drawn to the best mother for their children. Since it is of obvious benefit for children to be intelligent, and to have a wise mother to care for and instruct them, intelligence in a woman is always highly valued. As in the classical figures of Athena or Sarasvati or Sophia. Traditionally, to be highly marriageable a woman was expected to be “accomplished”: able to play piano, dance, speak French, recite poetry, and so forth.

So too for almost anything else men favour in the opposite sex: it is whatever is best for children. Youth is valued, because a younger woman is most likely to have the most and most healthy children. Beauty is valued because what we consider beautiful is whatever implies good health. A good strong body will produce more healthy children. A gentle personality is preferred, because gentleness is best around children.

The same is true for the opposite sex: women value in a man whatever suggests the best father.

Why are so many modern women misled on this? 

Perhaps women are often poor judges of their own intelligence. Little girls are always told they are wonderful and clever. Eventually, however, if they are not physically attractive, this cannot be hidden from them. As compensation, parents will reassure less attractive girls with some line like “never mind, you are better than those other girls; they may be pretty, but you have more personality. You are more intelligent.” This is a natural dodge, because more difficult to disprove.

School marks might hint otherwise; but modern schools tell everyone they are doing wonderfully. Even when they do not, poor marks may not be as convincing as regular praise. 

And in the absence of such trusted feedback from without, the woman herself is unlikely to know: the infamous Dunning-Kruger effect. 

Then these less attractive women see the pretty girls getting all the guys, and assume it is because men value beauty over brains. 

Not so. Unjust as it may seem, the reality is that attractive people are also likely to be more intelligent: good genes mate with good genes. Even if men value beauty above brains, an intelligent man would stand a better chance of marrying a beautiful woman, and their children would inherit both characteristics.