Kyoto: A Modest Proposal

PETA—People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals—has an interesting proposal regarding global warming. They point out that a huge percentage of the greenhouse gases emitted actually comes from domestic animal farts, which apparently release a truly dangerous level of methane into the surrounding air. This is a bigger consideration than, for example, the burning of fuels for transportation.

It follows that, if we all switched to a strict vegetarian diet, we could whip the whole global warming thing way before Kyoto could even begin devastating our economy. Indeed, if we could just reduce the hot air from Kyoto, that alone might make a significant difference.

Even better, it turns out that the average meat-eater in some unspeakable way emits 1.5 tons more carbon dioxide per year than a pure vegetarian.

It follows we could do even better if we also cut out beans—an insight Pythagoreans arrived at millennia ago.

Hey, come to think of it, let’s also just dive into all those rich carbon dioxide sinks and kill anything that moves.

Problem utterly solved.

Thanks, PETA.