Billy

 

I have been binging on the British series “Call the Midwife.” A recent episode was about a Mongoloid man whose mother suddenly dies. Having always been taken care of, he is unable to look after himself. He is therefore taken in temporarily by the caretaker of the nearby convent, and his shopkeeper wife, until a permanent placement can be found. 

After a few weeks, they begin to love having him around, and now do not want to let him go. 

This sounds heartwarming, doesn’t it?

But the series is wise. This would not be happily ever after. He would only be trapped in childhood and dependency for longer. The young man himself points out that, living with this elderly couple, he has no friends. 

So they, more generously, consent to send him off to an institution, where he can socialize with other retarded adults.

This hit close to where I live, because my own family was faced long ago with a similar issue, and made the wrong choice.

My Uncle Billy was born retarded, reputedly due to brain damage at birth. And my grandparents would not hear of sending him off to some institution. No, he was going to be raised at home, not shut away somewhere.

It seemed no doubt like kindness, but it was cruel and selfish. He lived his life as a family pet. All his life, Billy never had any friends, never held down a job and made his own money, never met a girl, never learned how to act around people. And, not coincidentally, he developed a difficult, sour disposition. He was an angry man. As well as seeking troublesome sexual outlets.

I have known other mentally retarded people who led good lives; who went to work every day, if at a “sheltered workshop.” They managed their own affairs, with some supervision; even married and set up household. 

They had human dignity; the dignity God allowed us by giving us free will. We are not meant to be pets, and we are not happy in a cage. Even if it looks like a garden.

Billy had none of that. He was denied a life.

It is wrong to try to possess other people. It is if anything more wrong when you mask this as caring.