Forever Amber

On the stand, Amber Heard neatly illustrates many of the tendencies of the narcissist. It is a great public service Johnny Depp has done to get her before the general public. 

One is to say the opposite of the truth. 

This is instinctive. If you are going to lie, it feels safest to say truth’s exact opposite. That feels like it keeps you away from danger. But in fact, this means the narcissist often gives themselves away, if you are paying attention. Just reverse valences.

An example is Heard’s claim that she concealed bruises on her face using makeup. At one point, she called this makeup a “bruise kit,” then quickly corrected herself. She had to, because there is such a thing as a “bruise kit.” Actors use it to fake bruises.

Faking bruises is far easier than concealing real ones, and any actor would be familiar with how to do so. Not so much with how to cover them. She was giving herself away.

Narcissists cannot accept blame for anything. Many have noticed this about Heard: as she tells it, she never did anything wrong throughout the relationship. Even when faced with blatant evidence to the contrary. Compare Depp, who admits to various addictions.

An inevitable further tendency of the narcissist, related to both of these, is to scapegoat. They will project their own sins onto someone else, usually a victim designated in their mind for the purpose.

Heard accuses Depp of everything she has done herself. She was abusing him, so she insists he was abusing her. She grievously injured him with a bottle, so she insists that he injured her with a bottle—and in a way she can imagine was worse. She has a reputation for destroying phones in fits of anger; so she accuses Depp of injuring himself destroying a phone.  Heard was at least as addicted a drug user as Depp; yet she insists that only he had the problem, and her constant concern was to get him off them.

I hope the public is learning. Heard is a predictable type. Too many of us are familiar with it personally.