Donald Trump Is Not a Narcissist

A cartoon narcissist.

Everyone is saying Trump is a narcissist, and I think that is wrong. Trump only plays a narcissist on TV. To say that Trump is exhibiting “public narcissistic behaviour” is quite damaging, because it misleads everyone on what real narcissism is like. And it also, less importantly, misleads everyone on what Trump is about. 

Trump is an exaggerated, cartoon version of a narcissist. Like Jessica Rabbit. But a real narcissist would not be blatant and openly boastful like Trump is. A real narcissist is cunning above all. He will be full of charm in public, just the opposite of Trump’s evident boorishness. The devil is a gentleman.

A real narcissist is entirely concerned with manipulating people, controlling people, pushing people around, and at the same time having people say they are wonderful. Deviousness is key. Openly swaggering like Trump does is an obviously lousy way to manipulate people or get them to praise you. It gets their hackles and their defenses up. A real narcissist “love-bombs,” makes it all about the victim, until the fly is firmly in the web and he has gotten what he wants. Trump did exactly the opposite while campaigning. No true narcissist would do this. 

And a real narcissist wants everyone else to believe they are wonderful, and so usually wears a public mask of political correctness, benevolence, propriety, and social conformity. The abuse is behind closed doors, out of public view. Even Hitler, although not a typical narcissist, is an example of this—his speeches, as William L. Shirer observed, were always expertly tailored to say exactly what that particular audience wanted to hear. Then he did as he liked in secret camps in Poland. 

Trump does the opposite. He tries to be provocative. He seems, despite all the talk about his being “thin-skinned,” to be extraordinarily thick-skinned, saying as he likes almost heedless of what people will think of him or it. He speaks in ways he knows will provoke criticism in many quarters. It is as though he does not care what he looks like in a mirror.

He has also already established a pattern of at least trying to do what he said he would do when campaigning. This is the opposite, again, of a narcissist. A narcissist will promise whatever he thinks the hearer wants, and then do whatever he wants once the deal is made. Trump seems to have done at least as well as the average politician in keeping his promises—so far. You or I might not like his promises, but that is not the issue here.

Trump is also conspicuous for not seeming to hold grudges. Past opponents like Rick Perry, or Kim Jong Un, can be treated like best buddies a few months, or even a few days, later. This is the opposite of narcissistic behaviour. Granted, the subsequent friendliness might all be a sham, meant to manipulate. But narcissists hold grudges. It looks as though, to Trump, it is always “just business; nothing personal.” To a narcissist, everything is personal.

I don’t have any insight into Trump’s psychology, but I say he is not a narcissist. Primarily, I think he is an entertainer; a comic artist. I think of P.T. Barnum.

Barnum at work.