Thank Heaven - for Little Girls

The shock about President Lugo of Paraguay having had a relationship with a much younger woman, perhaps as young as sixteen, and having a son by her, continues. At least for my friend in Paraguay. This has provoked the following more recent reflection about the immorality of having sex with teenagers--”pedophilia,” as he calls it.

It is certainly a huge cause for scandal these days—Anne Landers wanted all offenders castrated just a few years ago. But this concern, or at least this level of concern, is quite new, even in the West. In the old days, the only issue was sex outside of marriage. But today, governments like those in India or Saudi Arabia face heat on the grounds of "human rights" for "child brides."

But is there really something morally wrong with women marrying young? This is a very new idea even in the west. First, consider the ancient tradition (and historical likelihood) that Mary herself, at her marriage, was barely past puberty, no older than 15 at the outside. And that Joseph was an aged man--some early written sources say he was 90 at marriage.

How about that archetype of Western romance, Romeo and Juliet? According to the play, Juliet is 13. Romeo's age is not given, by Shakespeare-but in pre-Shakespearean sources, he is 20 or 21.

Some sources say Mohammed married his last wife, Ayesha, when he was 53 and she was nine. In Judaic tradition, consider the Song of Solomon, or Song of Songs. We do not know the precise age of the woman in that famous love poem. But consider this moving verse:

"Our sister is little: her breasts are not yet formed. What shall we do for her on the day she is spoken for?"

How about that great medieval romance, the story of Abelard and Heloise? He was 22 years older than she was.

How about the romance that built the Taj Mahal? That's a big one, isn't it?

When Shah Jehan married Mumtaz Mahal, for whom the Taj was built, she was fourteen.

Probably the most famous Korean romance is the story of Chunhyang and Yi Toryong. Chunhyang's age at marriage? 15.

You might also have heard of the marriage between Mohammed and Ayesha; the precise ages are in dispute, but there is no question she was much younger than he.

Obviously, there was no moral issue, until a few years ago, for Christians, Jews, or Muslims.

So most cultures at most times seem to have thought a very young bride, and a significantly older groom, was not a scandal, but the ideal match. And this makes perfect sense: a younger woman is better able to bear many children, while an older, more established man, is more likely to be able to support them. Sheer survival of the species.

How recent is this prejudice against young women and older men?

Pretty recent. Among the five greatest romances of the twentieth century, Time magazine lists Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall. It has inspired popular songs and further movies. Bogart was twice her age. When they played a romantic couple in To Have and Have Not, she was 19, and he was 44.

How about “The Misfits,” 1960? There were at least twenty years between the romantic leads, Clark Gable and Marilyn Monroe. How about “Gigi”? Gigi was supposed to be 15; Chevalier was 60. “Gone With the Wind”--there's a romance classic. Gable had twelve years on Vivian Leigh. In Shaw's play Julius Caesar and Cleopatra, she is sixteen. He is 52. Oona O'Neill, daughter of the playwright, spurned both Orson Welles and J.D. Salinger to wed Charlie Chaplin, 36 years her senior, in 1943. Unfortunately, they had to wait until her 18th birthday, becuase her father refused to give his consent.

And so it goes.

Something happened in the Sixties, obviously. It was feminism.

I really wonder, though, whether the objection was ever really to the age difference, or rather to marriage per se?

After all, self-respecting feminists from the Sixties onwards resisted getting married—-or, if married, divorced as soon as they could get child support. Not already safely married, at a relatively advanced age, they unfortunately discovered they could not compete for the attentions of men with these much younger women. They were scabs. They were busting the union. But of course, they could not be blamed directly or oppenly, because they were women. But the practice had to somehow be stigmatized, de-normalized.

Hence the new, ultimately wild-eyed, stereotype of "pedophilia."