ISIS Problem Solved

Gurkhas in British service, 1896.

The situation in Iraq and Syria has become a historic humanitarian crisis, on the level of Rwanda or Kampuchea. We must do something. Our posterity will not forgive us if we don't.

Unfortunately, the US is exhausted. After Iraq and Afghanistan, they have no more stomach for war. And the Europeans, after Libya, have lost what little appetite they had.

Once, in the days of empire, such matters were easier. One could send in the colonial troops:

We don't want to fight, but, by jingo, if we do--
We won't go ourselves; we'll send the mild Hindoo.

Indian artillery, Jerusalem, 1917.

Under British or French officers, of course.

This is apparently no longer considered seemly; even though the modern alternative looks much worse.

Still, there is a variant of the old formula that might be called into service.

It may not have escaped notice altogether that the US has an illegal immigration problem. Twelve and a half million, too many, many say, to deport. And Europe is facing a Syrian refugee problem. Germany predicts 850,000 refugees this year alone.

We have our solution, don't we? Give the immigrants in the States a “path to citizenship” by serving a term in the military, and in harm's way, overseas. Give the refugees in Europe rifles, turn them about face, and march them back to Syria in good order under German officers. Since we believe in sexual equality, there is also no reason to limit this requirement to the men.

Yes, it would cost something. But quite possibly less than a continuing and growing flood of refugees, if the present carnage continues.

This is in fact a time-honoured way for immigrant groups to prove their commitment to their new home. The Irish, long mistrusted in Canada (thanks, Fenian raids) proved themselves to their neighbours by enlisting in droves during the First World War, even while their homeland was in revolt. The Japanese of America did the same in the Second, proving their loyalty as their homeland was at war with their adopted home.

In the case of the Syrian refugees, such proof is quite appropriate: we have reason to suspect the presence of Islamist moles. More generally, such required service solves a problem with modern immigration. In the old days, an immigrant had little hope of ever returning home. He lived or died by his own efforts. There was no dual citizenship, and there was no social safety net. He had to commit.

Now, it is too easy for immigrants to be summer patriots, to see Canada, or Germany, as a comfortable hotel. You can milk it, then leave when anything is asked of you.

Requiring national service for immigrating would eliminate this temptation, would it not?

I think I've just killed about three nasty birds with one stone.

Eat depleted uranium, ISIS.