On Kindness

 

Friend Xerxes the sinister-listing columnist expresses his faith in human nature in a recent column:

“ I am convinced that all of us – allowing for occasional exceptions – would like to be kind to each other. Almost everyone, confronted face to face with another’s suffering, wants to help.”

I must disagree. We were reminded this is not true in recent enough history: the Holocaust. Yes, a few people helped Jews. But don’t kid yourself—a very few. Most did not, including our own Mackenzie King government at the time, which refused Jewish refugees. Virtually everyone refused Jewish refugees, sealing their fate. Can’t just blame the Germans.

Nor was the crowd eager to help Jesus when he stood before Pilate. Even though they knew he was innocent of the charges.

Consider the parable of the Good Samaritan. The anonymous traveller is encountered by four people, or groups of people: first the robbers who beat him and leave him for dead in a ditch. Then the priest and the Levite, who walk by without helping. Then the good Samaritan. 

That’s a pretty good guide: about one in four people is genuinely kind. Most of us are just looking out for ourselves. “They came for the Jews, but I did nothing, for I was not a Jew …” About one in four is an active predator, getting a rush out of making others suffer.

The Bible also tells us of the scapegoat phenomenon. This is what happened to the Jews. People are herd animals. The mass of the herd will welcome the opportunity to deflect their bad feelings onto some designated scapegoat, so long as they think they have permission. They will have no qualms as long as some authority endorses it, or everybody else seems to be doing it.

Kindness comes naturally for small children and small animals—the maternal or paternal instinct kicks in to protect them. And only so long as they are right in front of you—otherwise most people are happy to abort or to eat a chicken or lamb.

Aside from this, it takes religion to convince some to be kind.

Kindness and Honesty

 

A poet of Iranian ancestry writes:

“Instead of searching for the truth,
be kind to others.
There’s no truth beyond that.”

This seems to me to reflect a difference I have noticed between East and West. In America, Canada, or England, if you want to say someone is a good man, you say “he is honest.” But in China, if you want to identify someone as good, you say “he is kind.”

I think this is a telling difference in values. The West values truth above social harmony; the Far East values social harmony, keeping everyone happy, “kindness.” Perhaps Iran is more like the Far East.

I find another example in a Confucian story. It is meant to illustrate the essence of good morals. The righteous emperor heard an ox chosen for the annual sacrifice bellowing with fear on the way to slaughter. So he intervened and insisted that this ox be replaced by another. This demonstrated his impeccable morals. 

But to me as a Westerner, it looks only like sentimentality. After all, the next ox would still be slaughtered, and would quite likely be just as afraid. The emperor just didn’t have to hear about it. 

As a Westerner, I would almost reverse those lines: 

“Instead of trying to make others happy,
Seek and speak the truth.
There’s no kindness without that.”

I wonder if this comes specifically from Christianity.