The Holy Squirrels of Mariposa

A band of squirrels had become quite a problem. The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about the infestation. After much prayer and consideration, they concluded that the squirrels were predestined to be there, and they shouldn’t interfere with the divine will.

The Lutheran church nearby decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creatures. So, they humanely trapped their squirrels and set them free near the Baptist church.

At the Baptist church, the squirrels took an interest in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a water-slide on the baptistery. The logic was that the squirrels would slide in and drown. The squirrels liked the slide and unfortunately, knew how to swim, so twice as many squirrels showed up the following week.

The Baptists took down the water slide, and the squirrels wandered over to the Anglican Church.

The Anglicans tried subtlety. They set out pans of whiskey around their church in an effort to kill the squirrels with alcohol. After all, it had worked with the Irish. They sadly learned how much damage a band of wet inebriated rodents can do. For some odd reason, however, the squirrels then decided they were Catholic.

But the Catholic priest came up with a very creative strategy. They baptized all the squirrels and catechized them. Now they only see them at Christmas and Easter.

--adapted by Stephen K. Roney from an anonymous joke sent by Violet Faust.