Curses My Grandfather Taught Me

Gerald Vanluven Roney

My grandfather died when I was 11 or 12. I wish I could have known him better.

He had the Irish reverence for words and wordplay. His specialty was making up colourful mock curses. Here are the ones I remember:

"Wouldn't that just rot your socks!"

"Hell's bells and panther tracks! Dirty old man with a busted crutch!"

"A pox on you!"

"Liars, cheats and thieves!"

My father reminds me that whenever asked where something was, it was "down cellar behind the axe."

He also had his own wise sayings. One was "God hates a quitter."

I cherish these words; they give such a picture of the man. He was one of nature's poets.