Men Are from Mars; Women Are from Alpha Centauri

 

Photo is for illustration purposes only. No actual fish were harmed in this graphic.

I recently wrote a review of a poetry book. I liked the book, and gave it a glowing review.

The editor called me up that same day. She could not run the review. She first apologized for asking me to review a book I obviously did not like. 

I explained it was a positive review; that I had loved the book.

A day later, she sent me what was essentially a new review she had written, and asked if I could put my name to it instead.

How could there be such insoluble miscommunication? Is she mad, or am I?

Perhaps we see here a difference between the male and female mind. On average, at least.

The book was nonsense verse, and I praised it in these terms, pointing out clever paradoxes. I gather she understood this as a criticism, and could not see that saying something was “fine nonsense” could be a compliment. Nor that the book was full of paradoxes, or was funny. To her, this too seemed to be a criticism. Although, to be fair, she did not seem able to articulate why she thought the review was critical.

She especially took exception to my conclusion that the collection “clears the sinuses and purges the care-filled heart.” “Purges,” she said. “That’s a bad word.” She wanted to change it to “tickles.”

She was not moved when I explained that “purge” was the English translation of the Greek “catharsis,” which Aristotle held was the purpose of art. And, to my mind, a quite accurate description of what humour does when it works. Seemed like praise to me.

No; it was a bad word.

She also objected to the word “boggles,” in the phrase “Orgasmic pussyfeathers! The mind boggles at the possibilities.”

I suspect she was really reacting to the phrase “orgasmic pussyfeathers.” But realized mid-objection that this was a quotation from the book itself. Perhaps this is why she directed her ire at “boggles.” 

“Do you realize what that word means?”

For what it’s worth, Merriam-Webster gives: “to start with fright or amazement : be overwhelmed.” So it means something is amazing. “Boggles the mind” is a pretty common phrase.

Although this is a generalization, and based here on the slightest of present evidence, I posit that this illustrates: 

1.Women generally have less sense of or appreciation for humour than men; perhaps specifically for irony and double meanings. There’s a reason why “Dad jokes” are a thing, and not “Mom jokes.” Women laugh indulgently at a man’s jokes because they find him attractive. Women rarely laugh heartily.

2. Women favour the “nice” and “pretty” over the beautiful, and are frightened by the sublime.

More evidence: over the past few centuries at least, women have had more free time than men to indulge in the arts. Many women have even risen to popular prominence in the arts in their lifetimes. Yet few, in comparison to male artists, remain high in critical estimation a century or more later. 

It is perhaps because women usually lack the sense of the sublime, and the ironic distance, that the best art requires.

One thinks of exceptions. But even a Joni Mitchell lacks the deeper sublimity found in Cohen, Dylan, or Young. Even a Saint Theresa of Avila lacks the deeper sublimity of a Saint John of the Cross. A Margaret Atwood or a J.K. Rowling lacks the deeper shadows of an Orwell or a Salinger.

Joseph Conrad has Marlowe observe in Heart of Darkness:

“It’s queer how out of touch with truth women are. They live in a world of their own, and there has never been anything like it, and never can be. It is too beautiful altogether, and if they were to set it up it would go to pieces before the first sunset. Some confounded fact we men have been living contentedly with ever since the day of creation would start up and knock the whole thing over.”

Interesting. But never mind; just a thought. Shall we go out and watch the sunset?